Have you read the Smashwords Author Interview with Bruce A. Borders yet? You can find it here;
https://www.smashwords.com/interview/BruceABorders
Friday, August 30, 2013
Monday, August 26, 2013
The Right Key
When I was a kid, my dad once told me that a set of car keys would fit
more than one car. That may not have been such a good piece of information for
him to impart. I was instantly intrigued. Being me, I had to see if it was
true. Not that I really doubted him, my dad is usually right. This was back
before keys were encoded with computer chips and, in fact, a single key could
fit several cars. Though they usually sent them to different parts of the
country, I planned to find two of them.
I tried hard too. I used to take my dad’s keys and try them in all the cars
around the neighborhood. When that didn’t work, I started collecting keys. Old
keys that people didn’t need any longer, spare keys, and keys that I found,
made up quite an assortment. And anytime we had people over, or we went some
place, I would sneak off and see if my keys would fit any of the vehicles.
Sadly, it never worked.
Eventually, I figured out that while it may be possible to find two
cars keyed alike, the odds were overwhelmingly against it happening. I didn’t
really give up because I can remember even as an older teenager, trying a few
here and there. It still didn’t work.
A few years later, my wife and I, along with some of her family, were
spending the day at Valley Fair Amusement Park. Along about mid-afternoon, it
started raining - raining so much that they shut down the park. Amid a
torrential downpour that would have made Noah proud, we decided to make a run
for it.
The rain was so hard we could hardly see where we were going but that
didn’t matter. The Park coded their parking lot into zones, which were clearly
marked on the light poles. Remembering exactly which pole we had parked beside,
we made a beeline for our car. I guess we were trying to avoid getting wet - a
rather pointless endeavor considering the way it was raining - and rushing up
to the car, I quickly unlocked the doors as we all scrambled inside.
In our hurry, and in trying to find some way to get dry, at first we
didn’t notice all the subtle little things that were not right. Not until I had
the car running did my wife start pointing out the differences. It took a few
more seconds for us to figure out our mistake - it wasn’t our car!
Well, we made our exit from vehicle even faster than we had gotten in!
Two parking spots down we located our car, and crawled inside. We were driving
away, shaking our heads and laughing at our mistake, before it hit me that I’d
finally done it. I’d found two cars keyed alike! And I hadn’t even been trying.
It wasn’t exactly the way I’d envisioned it happening, and I’m sure the others with me weren’t impressed, but I was happy.
The poor people whose car we’d soaked probably weren’t nearly as happy
as me. Although, by the time they made it to their vehicle they were no doubt
just as drenched as we had been so, maybe they didn’t notice. If they did, I
suppose I should thank them for their contribution in helping me prove, once
again, that my dad was right.
Sunday, August 18, 2013
Temporary Bachelor
Home alone. My wife is off gallivanting around the country on vacation.
(Actually, she is visiting her family). But, I stayed behind. And since my kids
have all moved away, it’s just me - and the dogs.
Living alone isn’t really a problem. I can manage to take care of
myself, and the dogs. In fact, I seem to function quite well on my own. But I
do tend to become a little irritable without my wife around. The dogs are not
impressed.
When my wife and I first got married and she would leave for a week or
two, I dealt with my frustration by firing people at my job. (Only if they
deserved it, of course)! I don’t have a lot of patience to begin with - add to
that the annoyance of my wife being away and it doesn’t bode well for employees
who do not listen or who won’t do their job. As the manager of a fast food
restaurant, with several employees, I usually had an abundance of opportunities
to exercise my self-designed “therapy.”
These days, I’m not the boss - probably a good thing - so; I have to
deal with my frustration in a different manner. The method of choice is to stay
busy working. Again, the dogs are not impressed. In the week I’ve been home
alone, I’ve worked on a broken light fixture in the kitchen, replaced two
leaking faucets, repaired the fence, fixed the shed door, did some maintenance
on my pickup, and cleaned up the house (a little). And, I still have more to
do.
This new approach to dealing with the absence of my wife seems to be
rather productive! Much more so than firing my crew - and then having to run
the store by myself! I’m hoping when my wife returns she’ll be happy with
everything I’ve accomplished. The thing that worries me is that she’ll be so
pleased she’ll decide to leave more often. That wouldn’t be good - for me, or
the dogs.
Bruce A. Borders is the author of
more than a dozen books. Over My Dead Body, The Journey, and Miscarriage Of
Justice, and other titles, are available as ebooks on Apple I-Pad®, Amazon
Kindle®, Barnes & Noble Nook® and Sony Reader®, Kobo, Diesel Books, and
Smashwords. His books are also available in print at most online retailers or
at www.bruceabordersbooks.weebly.com.
The popular Wynn Garrett Series Books are now available on Barnes And
Noble® at http://www.barnesandnoble.com/s/?series_id=867526
See Bruce’s Smashwords Profile at www.smashwords.com/profile/view/BruceABorders
#MiscarriageOfJustice #BruceABorders
Monday, August 12, 2013
That Can Wait
I’m a procrastinator - sometimes. Not that I sit around idly doing
nothing, but I put off certain things. Usually, this is because I have other
things I’m doing that take far more time than I had planned. Then, unexpected
things come up that need to be taken care of and so, I keep pushing back things
I should have already had done. Which is how I ended up sitting outside on my
deck at one o’clock in the morning, just hours before my deadline, trying to
decide what to write for this week’s blog.
Sitting there, staring up at the stars, I noticed the mountainside
behind my house. It’s a pretty steep hill that rises over a 1000 feet. In the
cliffs at the top are a few sizeable caves. This is a perfect attraction for a
young adventurous boy and when I was a kid, I made countless trips up the
mountainside to explore. I would run up and down the rough, steep terrain
multiple times a day. Not that I needed a reason, but I’d look for any excuse
to go up there - sometimes just to see how fast I could make it to the top and
back down to my house. It’s a wonder I didn’t break a leg - or two! But nothing
bad ever happened and I have many fond memories of those days.
Although I now live just down the street from where I did then, it’s
been years since I’ve been up to those caves. I keep thinking I need to make
another trip - but, not on foot! I’m way to old for that. I doubt I’d have the
energy to make it halfway up before collapsing. Lucky for me though, I don’t
need to walk. There is a road that comes in from the back side. Not a very good
road, but a road - I could drive up there! And I plan to - just haven’t done
it. Not yet. I’m busy with other things. Or, maybe it’s because I’m a
procrastinator.
Monday, August 5, 2013
'Til Death Do Us Part
Did I ever tell you about the time I tried to kill my wife? Seriously, I did. Okay, not on purpose. Really!
We were taking our car to the shop to have the transmission worked on. It seemed to be having trouble not engaging - particularly reverse. When we arrived at the shop, the mechanic wanted it parked in a certain spot and to do that we had to turn the car around. Should be no problem, right? I mean, we’d made it that far.
Unfortunately, the road was not wide enough to make a U-turn, so we had to back up - or, at least that was the idea. With the front end of the car nosed down on the side of the road, toward a fairly sizeable ditch, reverse went out completely. We both tried to push the vehicle back up to the road but couldn’t get it to budge. So, I got the bright idea that the transmission was just slipping a bit. I figured if I could get something to give it a little nudge, just to get it going, it might work enough to back up the two or three feet I needed.
That something, I decided, should be my wife. I would drive.
Not only did it not work but every time I took my foot off the brake, the car would roll a little farther down the ditch. Of course, I kept trying, edging the car farther and farther each time. And, edging my wife closer to the fence at the bottom of the ditch.
I didn’t realize there was a problem until it was too late; she was pinned with her leg caught between the car’s bumper and the fence. When I did finally realize what was happening, I put the car into neutral and got out, intending to help her push. This only added more pressure, insuring my wife was firmly trapped. She said later that the only thing she wondered at the time was how much more she could stand.
I’m not sure how, we’d both tried pushing together earlier to no avail, but somehow, I was able to push the car back up onto the road - by myself! Adrenalin I guess, after seeing the anguished look on her face.
In the years since, my wife has never let forget the incident, bringing it up from time to time - good-naturedly, of course. She wasn’t really upset with me over it. Or, so I thought.
The other day, she posted something on Facebook that now has me wondering. The post said how she was thankful to have a husband who works hard, who would do anything for her, makes her laugh, who is her best friend, etc. That was all great until I got to the part about her husband being the one she wanted to grow old with - IF SHE DIDN’T KILL HIM FIRST!
Hmm. Has she been holding a grudge all this time! Does she intend to pay me back someday? I’m not really sure. But if one day, out of the blue, she asks me to push her car - while she drives - I think I will decline.
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